Skip to main content

I don't know how you do it

For a while now that's what I've heard -

'I don't know how you do it'

Truth is: I don't know myself.

I started a new job in February, I work around 25 hours a week and I do love it. I've gone from housebound, scared to leave the house, no friends close by, no adult conversation and just feeling all round lonely and like my son deserves better.

Throughout working hard I've been having tests done at Bristol. These are just the conditions wrong with my bowel:
Colonic inertia
Bile salt malabsorption
Crohns disease
Hypersensitive rectum

I've prolapsed twice whilst working. Twice my intestines have decided to pop out and say hi! I've drove myself to the hospital, had gas and air to have it put back in, and returned to work the day after.

I'm exhausted, I'm sore, I'm at the end of my tether of this happening. But at the same time I'm proud. Proud of pushing through, proud of not giving up, and proud for not falling apart.

Only advice I can give to anyone is to stay positive. There can be light at the end of the tunnel, please don't give up. Focus on the people who are there for you and focus on the things that are worthwhile.

Look at the things that make you smile when you feel like things are rough. Look after yourself and never give yourself a hard time when you feel like you're not doing much. Because even then - you're smashing it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

for you, mom

After being diagnosed with Behcet Syndrome, my mom handled the news better than anyone else probably ever could. She didn't let it effect her life and instead continued to be one of the most positive and uplifting person I've ever known.  Side effects from tablets have her kidney failure. I remember being in primary school and her being yellow in a hospital bed and just being told she was poorly. Not long after that we're sorting out a cupboard in the house and watching a VHS video of someone explaining dialysis and how to work the machine etc. As young children we would help our mom up off the floor and we would help with so much around the house to help out.  Years of steroids definitely took its toll, especially towards the end of her life. Her bones would break by just walking. She had a heart attack one year which she was given an inhaler for, one day she used her inhaler and her fifth invertebrate snapped with mere millimetres of bone protecting her central nervous sy...
Post a Comment
Read more

Talking Health

I had a lovely talk with such a nice dietician lately. She was so understanding of Crohns Disease and seemed to really have incredible knowledge of IBD. She works very closely with the IBD team at Exeter so it was nice. But what I wanted to talk about here was an organisation called 'Talking Health Taking Action' which was founded in 2011. Jane and Jean have worked together for 20 years and started Talking Health to help provide people with chronic illnesses with self-management support.  "We work with providers across the NHS, social services, public health and within the voluntary and community sector. We specialise in providing support to organisations seeking to develop programmes that enable people living with long term conditions to develop self-management knowledge, confidence and skills."  She offered me this incredible support and was surprised when my first reaction was 'that sounds great, how can I sign up to help other people?'. Whilst so many peop...
Post a Comment
Read more

Burnt toast

The moment my mom was sent to hospital I knew that was it. She was so poorly, confused, skin and bone and needed a machine to help her breathe. Living so far away was difficult to see her but I had to. I had to say goodbye whilst she still knew who I was. Her last words to me were 'I know you're talking to me like this because you think I'm going to die. I'm not going anywhere'. I didn't sleep for the whole time she was in there. I kept my phone on loud 24/7. She accidentally called me once saying how well she was and she'll be home soon. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep and missed 40+ text messages and 30+ missed calls whilst my phone was on loud. I woke up, looked at my phone and as my sister called I answered it and said 'she's gone isn't she?' And she had. I put the phone down, knocked on my next door neighbours door and as soon as she opened I just shouted that my mom died. I cried for for like 5 minutes and that was it. The funera...
Post a Comment
Read more